You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
