At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
