just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
