do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
