Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
home. puking in laundry basket.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
