update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
