I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
