She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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