Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My pussy is not your playground.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
