You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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