Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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