Sry I called you an 8
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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