I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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