Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
