My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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