Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
