Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
