I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
