glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
