maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
