yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
