You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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