so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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