the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
