when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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