batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
