After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I think people are normalizing furries
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
