Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She bit a glass in half.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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