i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
