I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
