should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i think im in europe. pls send help
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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