oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
