its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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