Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
