The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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