Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
