WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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