im about as happy as oj after his trial
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
