my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
