That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
