He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
