On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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