i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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