Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
