he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
