She is in my trunk
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
