I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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