I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
