I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
