he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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