So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I need water and some morals
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
