would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
