yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
